farewells

maybe you think i've finally turned mean.
that i refused to care anymore.
i do. i did.
on the other hand, bear in mind as well, i refuse to drive myself
insane.
hoping,waiting, for crumbs to fall where i stand.
no way jose. not anymore.
i vehemently object! to everything!
no more meat grinders. no more waiting in the wings.
i may not be mr. man, but i do not really care anymore.
i am free and will live free.
and damned be everyone else.
my heart is not your toy.
and yeah.fuck you and anyone else who thinks they can still walk
around my head unrestrained.
i've been a dishrag too long.
it stopped yesterday.

from the memoirs 01/02/06